Something I need to get off my chest.
I remember when I used to be a little depressed., but I still took a razor to my wrist and cut away because I was so sad. This was back in 8th grade. It was in the middle of 7th and 8th grade. That summer. my mom found out and asked what they were and I said that cat cut me, you know just an excuse. She isn’t dumb, she knew I self harmed. She called the doctors office and scheduled an appointment for me to go see my doctor. I remember I wouldn’t let my mom come back with me. I didn’t even want to be at the doctors, let alone be standing alive. Alls I wanted was to be dead. I go into the doctors office and meet with my doctor, and he told me that he is always there for me and gave me his personal number and everything. And he told my mom to start me in counseling. Which she did. I didn’t start counseling till the end of 8th grade, and went whenever I felt sad. Well beginning of ninth grade was really bad for me. I was pushed down the steps, pushed down by a group of girls at the homecoming football game, and got harassed on a daily basis. My counselor always helped. I loved her., she was the best, I probably wouldn’t have made it through freshman year without her. But the appointments were always three hundred dollars, and my insurance didn’t cover it. We have bills that added up to nearly one thousand dollars. My mom didn’t let me go back there ever again, she thought it was ridiculous. But, my counselor saved me. My mom complained to my whole family how she didn’t want me to be sad and depressed.
And now here I am. Thinking of ways to kill myself EVERY damn night. Crying myself to sleep. and alls I want to do is sleep. Im more depressed than ever. I BEG her to see that counselor again. And she wont.
So when im fucking gone, you only have yourself to blame mom..BECAUSE MONEY IS REPLACEABLE YOUR DAUGHTER ISNT.
But in her world I guess I can be replaced real easy.